LuvYourGirls' Story
During my cancer journey, I started keeping a daily log which turned into a diary which turned into a short novel. So I have condensed my journey into a one page synopsis. I initially started the log because every medical provider wanted to know my history, and it got to be a little confusing.
MY GIRLS' CANCER JOURNEY
It was December 2003 when I first noticed during one of my self-exams of my girls that I felt a small crease under the right nipple. I really didn't think too much of it...because, believe it or not, I was looking for a lump, a pea shape, not a little crease.
March 2004, I had my annual check up with my woman doctor, and I mentioned the crease to the nurse practitioner, Amy Scott. She suggested that I have an extensive mammogram. Nothing showed up, so the mammorgram doctor ordered an ultrasound immediately following my mammorgram. The ultrasound came up negative. The ultrasound doctor thought it was a fatty tissue.
Following up with my nurse practitioner, she insisted that I see a surgeon and have a biopsy. Why in the world didn't I think oncologist, but when I called that surgeon's office and they answered it as St. Lukes Cancer Center, I was stunned.
September 8, 2004, My first consultation with Dr. Desai. He exams, and says, he didn't think it was anything and that he was 98% sure the needle biopsy would come out negative, but whatever it was, it should be removed. When the result came back I was shocked to hear that a-typical cells were showing. Shortly thereafter on September 19, 2004, I had a surgical biopsy. In the recovery room, I heard those three words "you have cancer" I was shocked, floored, my head was spinning. I try to hold back my tears, but they just came pouring out.
I cried for weeks in my car, in my office and at night in my pillow. I made my sister, Maggie swear to secrecy not to tell our mother, not until I had a grip on everything. A month later, I finally told my mother what was going on. She held my hand, and said that she had high hopes, and that I was a strong woman. She knew me better than I knew myself.
After surgery, reincision surgery, MRIs, and bone scans, I started chemotherapy in December. I secretly hoped that my hair would not fall out. By the third week, it was falling out in clumps. On New Years Eve, I had my friend, Beth, buzz off what was left. I looked in the mirror at an alien. I did not know this person. I was deathly sick through out my chemotherapy. Sometimes the days were so gray. I laid in bed for days feeling wretched. I thought if I survive this horrible part of my life, I want to do something to make people feel good.
I finished chemotherapy in April and started radiation for seven weeks. September 2005 I had two reconstructive surgeries. I had to dig deep within myself, but I believe I am a much stronger woman today, and I look at each new day as a gift.
There were so many kind and caring people I met along the way. The healthcare providers at St. Luke's Cancer Center, Fox Chase Cancer Center and The Wellness Community of Lehigh Valley, there were wonderful and they gave me hope each step of the way.
They say that every story has a silver lining, mine would be tri-fold. First, I could throw away my wonder bras. Secondly, I found a sister I lost touch with 14 years ago. Thirdly, I found my purpose of why I was struck by this horrible disease and that purpose was to share my artwork with different cancer centers and organizations. To give back to a community that was there for me. To show there is beauty in a world of gray.
I was truly blessed to have my husband by my side at every test, every surgery and recovery time. My mother-in-law & father-in-law who . My mother who I wrote notes of encouragement everyday to me. To my lovely daughters who worried that they hadn't done enough for me. My family who called from all over the country from Texas to Seattle. To my friends who were so supportive with visits and cards of humor. Don't they, say, "laughter is the best medicine." To my friend and boss, Sandy, who was so very understanding of the whole situation, knowing his own mother had cancer.
But I will truly be forever grateful for my nurse practitioner who insisted that I have a biopsy. Amy Scott, R.N., she was my angel, the cancer was found at a very early stage, she saved my life.
Sincerly,
Susan H. Schaffer
Founder of LuvYourGirls.com
& Breast Cancer Survivor
(me and my girls)